ok....im back

im sorry!! :(
ive been gone for way too long! my boyfriend came to visit me in california for about 3 weeks & things have just been hectic, both here & at work but i dont care cuz i got to see my honey!! :)
& although it was only for such a short time i was so glad to have him here with me. i love my baby so much! but hes gone now :( & i miss him terribly. i dont know when ill see him again...i know itll be months though. ive learned to keep my head up though. tears might run down my face but i wont have my face drowning in them :)

anyways...i hope everyones enjoying the season! happy thanksgiving!!...i dont think i got to wish u all a happy turkey day lol

i knooow! i've been gone :/

i've been busy & sick these past few couple of weeks. its hard to explain whats going on but i'd like to share with you guys. maybe you might be able to help me out...

so over the course of 3 months i've taken 4 pregnancy tests & they all have all tested negative. i have most of the pregnancy symptoms but...i 've had my period all 3 months. i've read online that it's possible to bleed around the same time a woman would normally have her period while pregnant but it's not exactly a menstrual period. for a long time i figured im just under stress & that explains the symptoms like my frequent headaches, weight gain, eating alot, nausea, back aches, being tired alot etc.

well...a couple nights ago i got real sick & the symptoms were multiplied by like 10x. i started my period on saturday & it was over by monday/tuesday. i have regular periods that last 5 days so this really bothered me. like any girl would do i started examining myself. i got all nakie & looked at myself in the mirror. then i checked my breasts. i barely grabbed my right breast & it leaked like 2-3 drops of a very light cloudy liquid. i got freaked out!! i looked everything online. i read that it could mean pregnancy, it could mean breast cancer, or it could be completely normal for a girl to "lactate" around her period. now, normally i'd be relieved to read that but i wasnt...considering my period lasted 3 days this time. ive tried to make appointments but the clinics are full up the ass! i finally snabbed an appointment tomorrow morning.

does anyone know anything about this? i dont have ANY experience in pregnancy so i might just be having symptoms from something else. this might not add up. but me & my boyfriend are going out of our minds trying to figure this out. he's been so helpful & supportive through all this. he even did his own research :)
i love him so much!!

but anyways...let me know if you know anything or have heard of anything like this before. i wanna know!!

my reply to PIA!!

http://pialashay.blogspot.com/2009/10/you-always-hear-how-guy-should-act.html

its gonna be a year for me & my boyfriend this november & i have to say ive had to get used to alot of stuff. it DOES depend on the 2 people, ur right. he's been in serious relationships before & never have...EVER. i dated guys who never made me feel special or treated me like a queen. my boyfriend tells me he loves me everyday & constatnly calls me beautiful, gorgeous & lets me know hes never loved anyone like he's loved me. at first i was bashful about it all (i still am when he surprises me with cute little compliments :] ) but now when he tells me that sort of stuff i realize how lucky i am to have such a great guy in my life.


& i think there are guidelines for guys only because most of the time u hear about he did this & he did that. girls need to realize that they make mistakes in relationships tooo! we're not all flowers & sunshine...at least not all the time lol. i think alot of us need to step it up & treat our guys like we want to be treated.

i love it when my boyfriend playfully bites my face at the most random times! lol


i love when he tells me im beautiful, & perfect & the most important girl in his life.

& i love having him be the one who loves me.

girls know what they WANT & what they LOVE. but do we know everything our boyfriends WANT& LOVE? i dont know. i just hope i never have him feeling like i dont. i think thats the last thing any of us want.

i love my boyfriend. & he loves me :)
just let each other know you LOVE EACH OTHER.

problem solved?

ok ok ok...i think i've found an explanation for my creasing eyeshadow lately.

these past few weeks ive been using the new Urban Decay Ink For Eyes in Zero. its a cream eyeliner for those who dont know. & my Boots Botanics cream eyeliner. umm...thats it. yup.

i stopped using them a couple times & my eye shadow stayed put! im thinking they might have been just a tad bit too greasy for my lids & thats why i ended up with creased shadow :/
my lids are greasy to begin with so adding a cream to them without setting it with some kind of powder is a no-no.

today i used my Boots Botanics eyeliner & set it with eyeshadow & it worked!! no more creasing! problem solved :)

lol

umm...i'm obsessed with Law & Order these days lol
i don't know why & i dont even remember when it started...i just know i LOVE it :P
it's sooooo good!

that's it. im done :)
(anyone else watch it?!)

this might seem a little weird...

...but lately my Urban Decay Primer Potion hasn't been holding up so great...especially on my right eye. i HAVE been using a L'oreal eye cream lately too but im sure that if that were the cause of my creasing it'd be on both eyes right? idk. its just been bugging me lol
i dont think im applying it any differently. maybe my lid's getting oily?...all of a sudden?? lol
grrrrr this makes me mad :(
...& ANNOYED whenever i look in the mirror & my eyeshadows creasing lol


alright thanks for reading :P
if the same thing has happened to u or u might know why this is happening- i wanna know!! :)
thanks. bye-bye

i feel like crap!

omfg i have like allergies on top of a cold! i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!
i cant believe i pulled a whole shift at work tonight. i thought i was gonna have to let everyone hanging & peace out. working at a drug store does NOT help at all though. there are sick people coming in & out of the place, it sucks ass. all my co-workers are getting sick :(
i just wanna take some nyquil, knock out, & wake up feeling WAY better.
but...we'll see how that goes. good night everybody!! i hope everyones well!